Before I became an experiment
I gave away my very best
To join debris and deep-sea sediment
Indistinguishable from the rest

Now I don’t walk, I drag my feet
The seamless steps are hard to count
Though I am technically deceased
I still lug this body around

At least I can still use my fists
To strike until I break the casket
The slightest bit of soul exists
It smells like death, too late to mask it

I recognize the biggest issue
There is no pulse, no living tissue
Mine are the hands that pull me down
That hold me back and let me drown

A slow process: I’ve decomposed
Guess it’s too late to be revived
The nerve! Exposed
If only I had realized

Must there always be a crisis?

If there’s not much to say

I might be having a great day

So I look at everything that simply is

And take it for how little it means

Tenho um peixe de estimação

Ele faz sempre o mesmo percurso

Não me resta nenhum recurso pra chamar sua atenção

Pra ele não importa se eu o amo ou não

Toda tentativa de demonstrar

Interfere no fluxo da corrente

Eu não quero atrapalhar

Conhecedor das águas que cruza

Ele é perfeito e não faz diferença

Não é a moeda que ele usa

Nem nisso ele pensa

Cativo em poema

Contente nos confins da redoma

Pra não se perder num problema

Não tenha peixes de estimação

(Escrito originalmente em 12/07/2021)

Fell into the mist

I could barely see

Did I even exist?

Now the weapon holds me

Which way do I twist?

I thought it was all over

Felt a burning kiss

Changed into a costume

If the bullet hits

Is the pain posthumous?

Is my aim amiss?

Shattered porcelain is never soft

I made myself small

After a searing stare

Fearing red herrings

I followed the hare

There’s a place I should be

But I don’t know where

Com terra debaixo das unhas

Independente das alcunhas

Ou disfarces, ela vem

Um adeus doloroso e lento

Fagulha perdida no vento

Ela fez mais um refém

O sussurro da serpente

Escondida entre a gente

Desafia a si mesma e se mantém

Eu, com todo o meu medo

De longe não percebo

Se ela está chegando ou partindo

Vivendo choro, morro sorrindo

A muse used to be beautiful

Filthy in fantasy

Non-existent unless brutally immortalized

Innocent until proven guilty

Had she known better she wouldn’t

Bored of the cycle

of being only a disciple

She follows faint footsteps

Closer to the ground, it’s warmer

The earth is whispering

Down there, no one is dead

She made herself a higher power

A creator

A muse used to be beautiful

But rarely is she made in her own image

A muse built by a monster is bound to be destroyed

After the first bite

Apple’s moving fast

On her way to paint a perfect spiral

Every day’s the last

She’ll leave a little mark

A fingerprint inside a piece of tape

A fresh new taste

The same old shape

Once it’s worn out

She’ll deem too small her favorite dent

And reach for something in her bag

A lovely new attempt

A faint smell, a feigned sense of self
Disembodied
Reduced to a pulp

Self annihilation
Pushing the issue
An unrefined way to engage in deception

Unnatural alteration
Stretching the tissue
Tearing until there’s no more room

We are permanently deformed
Surgery won’t fix this

Raised scars still sting sometimes
Fresh scars are darker
You’re not supposed to touch

I’m pretty easy to forget
Sometimes I want to see me
So I carve out my silhouette

To hide inside yourself is a dangerous thing

Most of existence is accidental

To avoid rendering yourself meaningless

You must think of the outcome

Get rid of distraction and trite nutrition

Reverse the vision

Count down the seconds until the rush

Small waves make an ocean

My nature’s vicious

I just don’t have the strength to match

Forcing me to camouflage

Cut my losses, unattached

I am suspicious

‘Cause there is always a catch

I get lost in the collage

Different features in the same batch

A real face is buried there

I can’t trust any pair of eyes

They might not be bad

But their nature’s vicious